Where the concern comes from
Holly Welker and Joanna Brooks both point to different rules for men and women who remarry. They argue that allowing a living widower to be sealed again while requiring a widow to obtain a cancellation suggests the Church expects plural marriage in eternity. Brooks asks what a person who fears being one of multiple spouses is supposed to make of that difference. The difference in the rules is real. What it tells us about eternity is a separate question. Welker · Brooks
What the Handbook allows
- After a spouse dies. If a sealed man’s wife dies, he may be sealed to another woman who is eligible to be sealed. If a sealed woman’s husband dies, she needs a cancellation of the first sealing before she can be sealed to another man. The Handbook lists further conditions, including when a man needs clearance because of a prior divorce. General Handbook §38.4.1.3
- After divorce. A woman previously sealed to her former husband needs a cancellation to be sealed to another man during her lifetime. A man previously sealed to his former wife needs a sealing clearance before being sealed to another woman. Clearance allows a new sealing. Cancellation ends the previous sealing. Members of either gender may ask for a cancellation without plans to remarry. General Handbook §§38.4.1.2, .5, .10
- For someone who has died. Both women and men may be sealed by proxy to multiple people they legally married in life, subject to different eligibility and consent rules. For instance, if a deceased woman was sealed to a husband in life, all her husbands must be deceased before other such sealings can take place. The Handbook also says the deceased can choose whether to accept proxy ordinances. General Handbook §38.4.1.8 · General Handbook ch. 28
What the Church teaches about eternity
The Church’s Plural Marriage topic answers two questions directly. God will never force someone to enter or stay in an unwanted marriage. Plural marriage is unnecessary for exaltation. Doctrine and Covenants 132:7, 19 ties eternal efficacy to the Holy Spirit of Promise and keeping the covenant. A temple ordinance can be performed under the Handbook’s rules while its eternal fulfillment remains subject to God’s ratification and the agency of those involved. Plural Marriage · Doctrine and Covenants 132:7, 19
In October 2019, Dallin H. Oaks described a woman considering sealing to a widower who asked whether she would have to live with his first wife. He counseled her to trust the Lord and left that arrangement unspecified. The Handbook likewise states that no one will be required to remain in an eternal sealed relationship against their will. Oaks, “Trust in the Lord” · General Handbook §38.4.1.10
If you are asking whether you will have to share a spouse against your will, the Church’s answer is no. If you are asking how all willing relationships will be organized or why the rules differ for people who are alive, those questions remain open in these sources.